I often talk about a lot of positive experiences with step parenting, but every day is not a good day. You will have some emotional days, crazy days, exhausting days, and happy days just like any other parent. I've decided to start a storytelling blog about specific situations I've experienced in my step parenting journey. These Stories are REAL and honest. I struggled a little with sharing this story but I'm going to share it because its real and I know other step parents may deal with this same type of behavior. So here goes!
One day the children and I went to visit my sister. The kids love going there to play with their cousins. Well, on this particular day the kids starting arguing and my step daughter (10 yrs old) decided to hit one of her cousin's. I made her come in the house and go up stair to sit down for a couple minutes and cool off. In the meantime I had to go up stair for some reason and I saw her hurry up and close her iPad, so:
Me: What are you doing? Why did you close your iPad like that?
Stepdaughter: Nothing (rolls eyes)
Me: Give me the iPad!
Stepdaughter: I didn't do anything
Me: Give me the iPad
Stepdaughter: (Hands me the iPad looking scared)
I started looking through the iPad to see what she was doing. I pulled up her apps and the last open app was her messages. She was texting one of her friends. I looked through the text and noticed her and her friend were using profanity.
Me: Why are you using bad language?
So I began to go into my little speech telling her how is not cute for young ladies to use that language and blah, blah, blah. At that point it just seemed like she was waiting for me to get finished because she anxiously wanted her iPad back. So I began to look down her text thread to see if she texted or was using that language with anyone else and I noticed she had a contact stored as "Dickhead"
Me: Who is "Dickhead"? (If she has it stored than I can say it to her)
Me: You have a contact stored as "dickhead" who is that?
Stepdaughter: Who? (Puzzled)
Again, I start going into why thats inappropriate and blah, blah, blah but I'm still scrolling down her message thread and I see a contact stored as "Relle son"(Relle is my nickname)
Me: You stored your brother under "Relle son"
Me: When and Why did you do that?
Stepdaughter: I don't know
A light bulb clicks in my head. I go back to the dickhead contact to look at the phone number.
Me: So you stored me in your iPad as "Dickhead"?
Me: So you think I'm a "Dickhead"?
Me: Well why did you store me under that?
Stepdaughter: Because I was mad
Me: Well this dickhead is going to keep this iPad
Stepdaughter: I don't want it
Me: Good cause you won't get it back.
I was so heated I really had to just walk away from her. I called my husband to tell him what happened and he busted out laughing, and asked what does she have him stored as? I looked and of course he is stored as "My love daddy". That made me even madder. Later that day she came to talk to me crying and apologizing. I accepted her apology and told her she was still not getting the iPad back. I also put her on punishment. We talked again about the situation later on in the week and she apologized and said she will never do that again. I never gave her the iPad back. I wanted her to know I was serious.
I say all that to say You will definitely be tried during this journey, this situation didn't happen in the beginning of me and my stepdaughter relationship. It happened about a year ago. We already had a great relationship and talked about everything but just like any other relationship you guys may get faced with challenging times. I could have easily allowed that situation to distant our relationship. Instead I prayed about it and talked to her later in the week when we both calmed down. We later bought her a cell phone for Christmas. I often check it to make sure I'm still stored under "Step Mommy" lol. Don't let the hard time make or break your relationship. Work through them and try to make the relationship better
A POSITIVE mindset leads to positive actions and a NEGATIVE mindset leads to negative actions!