BabyMama Drama

November 26, 2016

 

 

 It seems that every blended family can relate to this topic in some way or another; whether you've experienced it or were the cause of it. Normally baby mama drama stems from 1 of 5 things.

 

1. There are still feelings involved. Whether its love, anger, or past hurt (or all of thee above).

2. The child(ren) show that they love being with one parent and going to their house more than the other, which causes feelings of jealousy and exclusion.

3. The secondary parent is feeding each side something different or trying to keep the ex and the wife far away from each other.

4. You have very different parenting styles.

5. You have a deadbeat baby father/mother.  That just decided to be a parent. 

No matter what scenario it is, it causes drama!

 

When you first enter into a blended family, 9 times out of 10 all parties are not entering the situation with the same expectation or even the same mindset. Someone will always have to be the bigger person until all parties get to the same place of clear communication. Sometimes the biological parent holds the step parent to higher expectations than they hold themselves to. When this happens they try to find every little thing to complain about.  

 

Most times before the step parent comes along, the secondary parent goes along with the primary parents schedule, rules, or lifestyle pattern. Now that there is a new party involed, things change and with that comes the drama. Most step parents come into a situation thinking the primary parent should be happy they are coming in with a positive attitude and helping their child. However, the primary parent didn't ask for your help,  didn't add you into their family and was probably fine with things being just the way they were. Now he/she has to change their whole pattern because you arrived and even if you are making things easier or better,  it's still a change in a once regularly scheduled program.

 

 

A wife's job as a step parent is to assist her husband with raising his child(ren) where he may feel it's needed. Never to replace the mother in any way, but to be a mother figure when the mother is absent. A lot of times I hear the stepmom or girlfriend say "well I'm only helping her out", No! You signed up to help your husband out. The bio mom didn't ask for your help. Also bio moms tend to always say they don't need the stepmom/girlfriend to do anything for their child. However, she's there to assist her husband/man and do what's best for the child. We must remember that it is never about the needs of the parents.  

 

The best cure for parenting drama is clear and concise communication, Even when the other party is not willing to communicate or stick to what they agreed too. As long as you stay open minded and keep the child's well being 1st, than you've done your part. Even If they never come to terms, you must still try to be the best parent you can be for the child! Trust me, children learn who the petty one is fast☺️. It shows in your actions!  

A negative mindset leads to negative actions and a positive mindset leads to positive actions! 

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